I think in life we can get what we want. There is often this belief that gets perpetuated that life is hard and you should take what you can get. Of course life can be hard at times. You can’t just snap your fingers and think really hard about what you want for it to magically appear but I do believe in the law of attraction. As a concept it means very different things to different people. To me it is that thing that helps you get stuff (very eloquent and thoughtfully put, I know.) I practice the law of attraction and have been aware of it for many years now. It basically helps you generate excitement in order to enact change, stating that if you communicate with a force of some kind, which many people myself included call the universe, you can attain whatever it is you want. If you uphold a theology it can be a godlike figure but it is just essentially a higher power that grants you the good stuff, if you do the right things.
It is a very simple idea, one that requires an open mind and very little cynicism. It states that what you put out, you get back. We know this but often the banality and struggles of everyday life can hinder our understanding of what is possible for us. Since I was very young I was told I couldn’t do certain things and I have internalised other people’s opinions and the limits they have set for me. I was told by a lot of people close to me that I couldn’t become a writer because it wasn’t a stable career choice. I know their intentions were just to shelter me from potential rejection and hardship and that they didn’t say what they did out of malice. They just wanted me to have a secure life and encounter very little turbulence along the way but every time I was told I couldn’t do something it only strengthened my determination. I knew quite early on, at the age of fourteen that I had to pursue writing because not a lot of things made me feel as happy as writing yet another story did. That was around the time when we had to decide what we would do after school. It is a hard decision for a child to make. The prospect of not pursuing my dream of becoming a writer filled many nights with tears but I can assure you will never regret not taking the safe option. It isn’t safe, nothing is. It just takes you away from what you’re meant to be doing. I am in University about to enter my final year to complete my English degree and I am so glad I didn’t allow people to sway me back when I was fourteen and scared.
Yes, life can be difficult. Let’s not sugar-coat matters. But I believe in life you will have to work hard. If you fall into a profession assigned to you by your parents or just a “steady” job that will pay the bills. Regardless you’ll still have to use your most limited and precious resource, your time, and you’ll have to use a lot of it. I heard it somewhere that if you do not have a strong vision and purpose in life you will get used by those who do. It is essential. It is a necessity to know what your thing is. For me it is writing, but it doesn’t have to be for you. It can be anything, anything at all. You just need to love doing it. I know a lot of people myself included that work very hard and always meet their looming deadlines and are punctual day in day out when it comes to work commitments or university requirements, but when it comes to my own projects, I procrastinate, sleep through the alarm or just give myself ten things more important and pressing to do. I think it all comes down to how we see ourselves and how we view our time and it’s importance. We tend not to place a lot of value on a minute here or there when it comes to spending our own time (cue the rise of social media). I think we need other people a lot of the time to discipline us and hold us to account but no one will ever care about you as much as you should. When it comes to making sh*t happen you need to be your own boss, at least starting out. You need to set targets, come up with plans in order to meet those targets, set time parameters and motivate yourself. It is a lot of work and the only way you’ll do it is if you are in love with what you do.
You need to know what you want. I know this sounds like common sense but you would be surprised by how many people fail to put down in plain, direct language what it is they actually want. Ambiguity in your desires will never benefit you. A lot of people want a relationship and success but what is your definition of these things? What do you want to get out of these things? You need to know exactly what you want. No detail is too small or insignificant. Write down all the characteristics you want your future partner to have. I
did this after my last break-up and I did it years before with a friend, when no boys were interested
in us. It is crazy to see all the things I thought I wanted but that I no longer see as a necessity now. Likewise I have also seen what is crucial in a romantic partner. If you want to achieve success in your particular field write down what success is to you and the various steps you will encounter along the way, break them down further and work towards each one. I have had a vision board on and off since I was about thirteen or fourteen. I am just after making up one and I have hung it above my writing desk. I have put my perfect life onto paper and it serves as a visual reminder to me. It is all well and good to have lists, in fact I would encourage you to do so but it is important to have a physical prompt there, in a place you often frequent such as your bedroom and visible in your immediate eye line. We live in a world of distraction so it’s important to have things in front of you. It makes them tangible and real and not just some other thing you really want. It helps you visualise them as a reality. You can forage through the internet for pictures of things you want and that inspire you. Copy and compile them in one place and take the time to cut them all out. While you’re at it also write out words that encompass who you want to be and what you want. Words are how I relate to the world, so to me they are incredibly important. They can just be simple buzzwords to accompany the visual aids and keep your mind on track.
I have learnt recently that often questions drive our behaviour and motivate our actions. I heard a motivational speaker, say this and it really resonated and struck a chord with me. Often there is a question we ask ourselves, repeatedly. It is usually a negative question, such as “why don’t I have this” or “why am I like that?” There is often a negative statement inferred by this question, that places us as the victim because it seems as though change cannot happen. I know the question I used to frequently ask in my head was like that, in the sense that I thought it was impossible to alter, but it isn’t. It really isn’t. Just reverse that question, and make it a simple statement, a positive one. Why aren’t I good enough suddenly changes to I am enough. Trace things back to their roots. What made you think a certain way? Why do you feel so bad about yourself? Even if you have to fake it at first. Believe in that statement, wholeheartedly. Let that be the thing that drives your behaviour now.
